all in a days work...

...So, I'm writing this with the risk of increasing the already held opinion that I'm living off of free food at work...this is only a half-truth.

This morning (Fridays are bring breakfast for the office day...everyone signs up for a Friday...and as I tried to sign up today, I realized what a high honor this list creates, as there are no openings until May!). Today, we were provided with wonderful pastries. But the real attraction to the break room was when someone brought in a huge bag of chick-fil-a biscuits that were donated to us from the office across the hall...I mean, there must have been 50 of them in this bag!

The bag had a variety of 3 kinds...chicken being in the highest demand of course. Although watching everyone attack this bag was entertaining in itself...the real entertainment came when our President strolled in, ripped open the bag and went fishing. The first he pulled out was sausage...and the second...and the third....this went on for many more times. There was even a moment of false hope as he was convinced one was thicker than the rest, so it must be chicken (the foil wrappers, which normally serve the role of labeling, had forgotten their true purpose in life...they should look up that book).

Then one employee offered him her chicken biscuit...but he refused. I'm sure there was some leadership principle in this action. Then, two more reacahes in, and alas--He got one! And I've never seen him walk away in such a victorious manner before.

All for the magnificent Chick-fil-A Chicken Biscuit. And I think he would say that it was totally worth it!

the word is alive...

...and kickin'! i have been so not motivated to read the Bible lately...so complacent, reading only out of obedience...no desire, no delight. well, God answers wake-up call prayers (after initiating them Himself!) very quickly. i prayed one of those about this very problem on monday morning and low and behold, this morning, just a mere 24 hours later, God decided to knock my socks off.

i walked into my living room, sat down, opened my Bible, and prayed that God would begin preparing me for all of the changes that will be happening in my life in the next few weeks. i prayed that i would be ok with living in an apt by myself, that i would not fear, and that i would be okay with the recent realization that i am moving on to my next phase in life and its not marriage...am i okay with that? i pray that i am okay with that.

next...i look to my handy scripture reading calendar i made for my small group, breaking up Isaiah into chewable bites, and saw that Is 54:1-6 was todays. umm...did you look at it? come on, look at it!!! its stinkin' aaaammmmmaaaaazzzzzzinnnngggg! immediately i noticed verses 2 & 3 about enlarging my tent (moving on to bigger pastures where the Lord wants to use me). next, verse 4 about not being afraid....next, verse 1 about God blessing a barren woman with MORE offspring (a bit incomprehensible until you think about Sarah...and think of it in spiritual children terms and discipleship and ministry...pretty sweet!)....next, verses 5 & 6....my Husband is my Master and He's the Lord of the Universe! pretty sweet credentials! i'll take it!

so...answered prayer...God is good...change is good...scripture is gooooooooood!

how's God speaking to you through His Word today?

unofficially official...

...i just got the call yesterday that the ministry i interviewed with is willing to pay me the minimum that i asked for!! whoohoo! so, of course i said the official "yes" and am now unofficially officially employed! can you call an internship employment? i'm going to anyways...its closer than anythign else i've been doing. hey...it comes with the possibility of leading to a full-time salary w/benefits position...that's pretty sweet...we'll see what God has in store.

i just have to give a big shout out to my Lord because He made all of this incredibly possible. after waiting, praying, waiting, obeying, praying, and waiting some more...He led me to this incredible ministry called EQUIP (check us out www.iequip.org) that combines my two passions of training leaders and the world! and of course all of the details (although there were many to be worked out) fell into place.

so...i start in just about a week and a half. i'll be living in the apt they are providing in duluth, ga half of the time and in athens (mostly on the weekends;o) the other half...can't leave my roomies yet! thanks for all of the prayers!!!

thoughts from a survivor...

of course, i use that word loosely...but it did feel a bit like war with the 7, 4, 1 year olds by the fifth day of taking care of them 24 hours a day. props to moms who deal with that for years and years...and props to teachers who give the moms (and babysitters) a break during the day (home schooling moms are nuts!)

so...here's so random things i took away from the experience.

DAY 1: 7 year olds can be very sure of themselves. Within 10 minutes of my arrival, I was getting told by this lovely 2nd grade girl that she was going to be in charge of us (her 2 brothers and me) and it was going to be hard for her to take care of all of us. I tried to reassure her that I would attempt to be as little trouble as possible;o)

DAY 2: I think I finally got the final push I needed to ausition for American Idol the next time it rolls near the ATL..teh recommendation from the same expert 7 year old...I think my rendition of "twinkle, twinkle" will knock Simon's socks off!

DAY 3: 7 year old playmate flirting is not much different from 20something's party flirting...first, there's the recognition of who they are: "Hey, I know you, you go to my school." Then...a little sarcastic confirming response "I know who you are." Next...girl exposing need of recognition "Do you see that garden (mound of basball field dirt with dug-up weeds stuck in it) I made over there?" And...boy exposing need of being affirmed that he's capable "Wait...oh, I see it, I found it, there it is." And of course...it all led to a game of hide-and-seek (I won't even bother explaining that obvious metaphor!)

DAY 4: "If I be popular, I tell all kids they are great like me." ~the 4 year old. Oh, how sweet they are at this age! Anyways...what a lesson I learned from this. Although there's a little pride stuck in there...there is goodness at heart and a simplistic caring for others. I want to tell all the kids they are great!

DAY 5: Unending whiney crying is the worst kind...I feel sorry for God's ears after listening to me for years! Oh...what I would have done if the 1 year old would have just come up to me and touched my knee to get me to pick him up instead of whining...Lord, I'll try to give you a tap next time instead of driving you nuts with the whining;o)

Man...parent's must learn something new constantly...I know I did!

some great friends...

my life might be moving to duluth...but i'm so glad i already have a life there awaiting me.

i had so much fun hanging out with my amazing HC friends today...and moving stuff and organizing was a bonus;o) you guys are HILarious!!! woookkk, woookkk! i love you all soooo much. hope you henderson's are enjoying your new pad. can't wait to come clean your windows!!

does it fit...

"We must know how a course of action fits into the overall plan God has for our lives if it is to thrill our soulds with a sense of desting." (Master Plan, Robert e. Coleman)

This sentence makes me stop in my tracks. I have felt like a wandering nomad for the past six months--feeling aimless and confused. Maybe its because I haven't stopped to look at what I am putting my time into and recognized how this fits into God's big plan. So...that's what I'm going to do. How do your everyday activities, those that you put the most time into, fit into enternity??

love...

Thank you my True Love for giving me all three of these, especially appreciative! May I seek to love you with all three as well.

"Need-love cries to God from our poverty; Gift-love longs to serve, or even to suufer for, God; Appreciative-love says: 'We give thanks to Thee for Thy great glory.' Need-love says of a woman, 'I cannot live without her'; Gift-love longs to give her happiness, comfort, protection-if possible, wealth; Appreciative-love gazes and holds its breath and is silent, rejoices that such a wonder should exist even if not for him, will not be wholly dejected by losing her, would rather have it so than never to have seen her at all." (C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves)

a new view on passion...

...my long awaited post;o) passion 06 was amazing. my first volunteer experience and i walked away a little more like Christ...thank you Lord. summarized version: hard hard work, bad attitude, kneeled before Christ, changed attitude, hard hard work with smiles and view of eternal impact, beth moore challenged me (more to come on that), exhaustion, breakfast at Noshville;o), a new view on passion (passion for what the Lord has called me to do, passion the organization (more respect than ever), and passion the conference truly minstered to college students!). God is good and faithful.

...can't wait to serve next year here in atlanta...anyone joining me?? (that is, if i'm still around here;o).

to come...

...no worries, a post about passion 06 will be coming soon;o) be excited!

off to music city...

....Happy New Year everyone!!! I'm going to hit up the ATL tonight and bring in the new year with 2,000 college students and Steve Fee. I'm pumped!

And then tomorrow I'll be heading off to Nashville, TN...the city of music. I love Nashville. But I have a feeling I won't be seeing much of the city. I will be manning my post in the GO Center of the PASSION 06 conference...and I'm so excited. I will be hosting those in the mobilization (missions) area...I don't know exactly what that means...but I figure I'll get to hang out with, talk, and pick the brain of missionaries and heads of missions from all over the states and the world...how cool is that?? (I might even get some kind of open door and arrow pointing to a path for next year...who knows.)

So..please be praying for the 16,000 students and ministry staff that will be there. Pray for the speakers and worship leaders and volunteers. It will be all next week...so pray, pray, pray!!

I hope to report back some great stuff afterwards....until then....everyone stay safe tonight and give thanks for all that the Lord has done for you, blessed you with, and brought you through in the year 2005...and praise Him for what He is preparing for 2006!!!

freak out day...

...how did Christmas turn into freak-out day for me? everything was going well. time with the family was great. we spent the morning at my sister's house watching my nephews playing with their new gifts from santa...and opening a few of our own. then we enjoyed a relaxing day sitting on the couch, cuddling with my nephew while watching the Polar Express, and napping a bit in between games. i did get a bit of exercise playing a new game with my nephews called "frog ride" (it developed out of the traditional piggy-back and horsey rides...you can imagine what it is)...it involves a lot of jumping and some extra weight on my back...whew...talk about burning thighs...what was i thinking??

we had fun at my parents' house watching sad football games and coercing my dad into finally playing a game with us (he hates games because he almost always loses;o). we played my sister's new game, Scene It, that involves watching movie clips and answering movie trivia questions...it was so fun that we played in different teams like 4 times!

but some time inbetween those, i was trying to figure out how to install my new operating system and realized that i have big problems...i might have to spend a lot of time backing a lot of stuff up and maybe some extra money trying to reinstall some software...technology and me...its never an easy combination...its always filled with frustration!

and also some time inbetween...i began looking at my bank account and credit card statement and that is when the freaking out began. i've been fortunate enough to be at peace with my money situation for a few months now. God is so faithful to provide me with everything i need. but every once in a while, i get a little attack from out of nowhere that sends me into a worrying frenzy. and it was not easy to get out of.

...waking up this morning, i felt like crap. i have a sinus infection that i'm battling (which is enough in itself) but that wasn't why i was feeling so awful. how did the day that is devoted to worshiping Christ and His Gift of salvation turn into a day of worry for me?? that's why i felt bad. so...God was good and pulled me into Himself and made me spend time with Him first thing this morning...winging praises to Him, humbling myself before Him (knowing that I'm not worthy of His grace and mercy!), and reading His promises in the book of Isaiah in the Bible. and now i can write this and truly say that i'm coming out of the frenzy and entering back into the peace of Christ which surpasses all understanding!

"I am the Lord, I have called you in righteousness, I will also hold you by the hand and watch over you, and I will appoint you as a covenant to the people, as a light to the nations, to open blind eyes, to bring out prisoners from the dungeon, and those who dwell in darkness from the prison." (The Lord, Isaiah 42:6-7)

encouraging words for singles...

...i've been reading a book called "Fine China is for Single Women too" and this lady is hitting it right on the money. my favorite part about reading a book is seeing someone put things into words that God has already been teaching me in my life...its like a nice little summary of my times with the Lord...very convenient:o) so here are some quotes from the book that i've really enjoyed.

"...life doesn't begin when you get married. This is you life. You will never find contentment in living for what you hope tomorrow may hold. Contentment is for today." (everyone can take this one!)

"the important thing to do is get beneath all the speculation about why we are single and acknowledge the fact that each and every one of us is alone because, for today at least, God has ordained it." (and rejoice in it!)

"the other cause...is a lack of understanding about God's sovereignty. She sees her marital status as under her control." (ughh...that one was convicting)

"When we come to trust that God rules the details of our lives, that nothing we or others do can untimately determine our course, we find ourselves experiencing the benefits of such trust...We are free to be ourselves!" (thanks for another confirmation of Ben's advice)


...and i'm sure there will be more to come...i've only begun reading the book. oh, speaking of books, i just finished Captivating and recommend it for EVERY woman out there!!! read it!! you might even figure yourself out a bit;o)

the best birthday present ever...

...last thursday i turned the big 24. and luckily i don't feel old (except for the other day when i was hanging out with a bunch of 20 year olds and they found out my age and went on and on about how old that was for like 5 mins...i was dying to call my friend, marisa, to just feel the same age as someone else;o). but really...i feel like i've barely even scratched the surface of life. man, the Lord has really blessed me beyond belief and i have so many memories involving tons of people, places, and things...but its given me so many little tastes that leave me wanting more and knowing so much more is out there.

one new thing the Lord has blessed me with (that also seems to be just scratching the surface) is my new spiritual family...what up y'all??? i'm sure you are reading this because you keep bugging me about not blogging enough;o) they have become such an important part of my life...this is what Christ (and Paul) meant by "fellowship with the saints".

i was lucky enough that this years birthday fell on the same night as our bible study together...way lucky. although we spent time exchanging presents (both birthday and christmas) and i loved each one (thank you again!!)...the best present EVER was to follow.

for what seemed like hours, God met with us! i mean...he really met with us....really. i've had times when the Holy Spirit has been in my presence and man was that unbelievable...but usually those times were so fleeting. it would be liek 30 seconds and then i would kind of freak and "lose it". its like i couldn't handle it (i've had many conversations about this with my sister). but thursday night i didn't freak...none of us did. we were there...truly with eachother, ministering to God with eachother...and ministering to eachother through God!! i was unreal. we've been meeting for about 2 months now and this was by far the "best" time. actually...they just keep getting better and better. but i think we really hit it on the money....and it wasn't in any of our control....it was because we focused solely on Christ! the entire time (way to minimize the bunny trails;o).

THANK YOU GOD for the best birthday present!!! and thank you my spiritual family;o) you don't know what you mean to me...and i know that's only going to grow. i love you all so much!!! and i pray that all of you out there that don't have a clue about any of the things i've been describing with experience it first hand...just ask God...He'll meet you wherever you are...don't be afraid....its amazing!!!!!!!

a pile of scrap...

...I think it's amazing that God chose the career of a carpenter for His walk on earth, Jesus' trade. A carpenter is an expert on building, creating, and also reconstruction. A carpenter can take a pile of scrapwood and create something that is both useful and beautiful.

My dad is a builder. He began as a teenager and learned how to build a house from top to bottom...everything but plumbing. But he also is a packrat. And every year, at least once, my mom is faced with cleaning out my dad's garage...the haven for all left-overs...from nails and screws to saws that don't work and huge rolls of wire. As I helped my mom this last time, we spent days sorting through what we through of as a bunch of junk. I spent an hour just moving piles of scrapwood outside to the driveway. Although I was ready to chunk it all, my mom knew better. She knew that my dad valued that wood.

You see, out of all of that stuff, my dad has a thing for wood. Sure, I love the smell of wood (esp. sawdust...it reminds me of my dad)...but I don't think that's why my dad loves wood. I think that when my dad looks at a pile of scrapwood, he doesn't see pieces that never made it onto a house...he sees pieces ready to become a part of a project. He sees the potential.

Its so amazing to think of how our Heavenly Dad looks at all of the "scrapwood" of our lives and sees how He's going to make it into something both useful and beautiful!

partly true...

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can. War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace. You are a good mediator and a true negotiator. Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy. While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental. You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take. On the flip side, you've got a graet sense of humor and wit. You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

the best dating advice ever...

...ahhh, good ole' tailgating. the usual...lots of walking, bits of food, and TONS of socializing. i had a great time! and of course, there were some memorable moments. this one i had to share.

"eat bbq, talk football and you can get any guy." yes...this is an actual quote. my friend, Tanner, and I and Marisa were chatting over a plate full of bbq...and of course, we were talking about our expectations for the game. a few sentences later, ones that included words like "special teams" and "field position" and i was getting one of the biggest dating tips of my life;o)

well...Tanner...i guess i know what your ideal first date would look like. hey...maybe i'll even try it someday. i'll take a guy to that really sketchy bbq place off of broad street...get it to go of course...bring him back to my apt...on a saturday or sunday and talk it up...i know all kinds of football words to use...maybe like: d-line, holding, rushing yards,touch-back, blitz and maybe i'll even throw in some talk about uga's chances of going to the sec championship...that should really make an impact. guess i'm set.

thanks for the advice...i'll let you know if it works;o)

struggles...

...wow, two blogs in one day...this must be a record for me. actually, its past midnight, so i guess its not technically the same day..darn.

tonight i had the opportunity to finally let out some of my struggles and lean on my brothers and sisters in Christ...my volnerability was welcomed with encouragement, understanding, relating, and some well-spoken advice.

i have struggled with trusting the Lord...and wondering if my desires line up with His...and much more on deeper levels. i thought this struggle would cease when i finally could wrap my arms around the Lord and declare that He satisfies me completely. this past year, He has led me to the point where i had the opportunity to declare that just a couple of weeks ago. i could truly exclaim "i am in love with you, Lord!!!!" i really could scream that from the ROOFTOPS right NOW! then...why am i still struggling?

then...tonight it hit me that this area of struggle is not just going to disappear in one day. although i have found the true answer and my true satisfaction, the lies that have been holding me hostage for so many years, have left scars..and they are still holding onto me..and little by little the Lord is helping me to cut these chains off of me!

so...i will not despair...i will HOPE..because i know that one day i will be completely free from this struggle and i will be free! Christ will always have the ultimate victory!!!!

a hurting heart...

...since the beginning of the week, God has been taking me on a journey through my heart, my emotions. on monday, the scriptures opened my eyes to the decietful nature of my heart. i had not realized that i had been believing that if my heart desired something and it seemed good, then it must be the best thing for me. but that is not always true. what IS always true is that God always wants and does what is best for me. that is truth.

i thought my journey had ended with this. but of course the Lord wanted me to dig deeper. since going to a concert on monday night, my heart has been both joyful and heavy. how can i feel both of these things at once...the heart is a complicated thing. i speak of heart as basically my soul (being defined as that which includes my thoughts and emotions...excluding the other two parts of me, my spirit and body). so...feeling both of these emotions proves the point that i can't trust what i am feeling...because i can't even really keep it straight.

so...even today i woke up feeling very weighted down. a lot of times in the past this has been because the Lord was giving me a burden to pray for someone or something. so...i asked Him what or who? but no clear answer has come. what in the world? i have been a bit confused.

then, as i was reading an email from a friend who is serving in Spain as a volunteer missionary, i broke down. i began crying and realized that my burden is the feeling of loss. i feel like i have lost a huge part of me...where my desires were released. the Lord has once again confirmed in my heart that He has given me a desire to do full-time ministry...i long to do it. i don't mind working in the traditional sense...but i just have this huge longing to do ministry as my vocation (not ministry in my vocation).

but as i have just learned...i cannot trust my emotions. so, i'm taking this to the Lord and to the scriptures and trusting that God will continue to be my guide and show me where He wants me, when He wants me. i wait on Your word, Lord...I'm ready when you want me...whoa...i just realized that's a big statement...hold me to it, Jesus, and give me the strength!!!

trusting and entrusting...

...why do i have so much trouble with these words?

"I know whom I have believed, and am convinced that He is able to guard what I have entrusted to Him for that day." 2 Timothy 1:12

...so much goes along with this...believing, trusting, knowing God.

I pray the prayer of the man with the demon-possessed boy in Matthew..."Lord, I believe, help my unbelief!"

The start of freedom...

...Today was a pivotal day, the start of a new life of freedom in Christ, one that I had already been attempting, but now with the power of the Spirit freeing me from bonds that had been holding me back, actually can live.

"The steadfast of mind Thou wilt keep in perfect peace, because he trusts in Thee. Trust in the Lord forever, for in God the Lord we have an everlasting rock." Isaiah 26:3-4

...This verse had a whole new meaning to me this morning as the Lord began revealing to me my lack of peace resulting from my lack of trust in Him. I trust the Lord on a daily basis with most of my life, but there is one particular area that I have struggled with for at least 6 years...trusting Him in, let's see, what should I call it..."my love life"/"boys"/"who's my husband"/"where's my date"/"will I ever get to the next stage"...all this and more.

So, what changed me today? It wasn't the verse...that was just a helper. Christ revealed to me that I was lacking trust in Him because of a situation in the past. He revealed to me why He allowed that situation to happen...and He showed me at least 4 huge great things that came out of it (so far!). This entire time, I had not come to the conclusion that God wasn't a liar, but that He would control the situation, He didn't know how to handle it. But that was a lie!! He was in control, but I just didn't like what He was allowing to happen...I couldn't see the whole picture.

Now, as He's revealing to me more parts of the entire picture, I am understanding that my trust in Him is only through obedience...daily obedience. And only through this trust will I be able to live a "love" life of peace, first with my true Love, Christ, and then with my "earthly love". Whew...what a day! God is good!!!!

(This moment of release from bondage was helped by the Bible study, Breaking Free, by Beth Moore. I highly recommmend it!)