partly true...

You Are a Peacemaker Soul

You strive to please others and compromise anyway you can. War or conflict bothers you, and you would do anything to keep the peace. You are a good mediator and a true negotiator. Sometimes you do too much, trying so hard to make people happy. While you keep the peace, you tend to be secretly judgmental. You lose respect for people who don't like to both give and take. On the flip side, you've got a graet sense of humor and wit. You're always dimplomatic and able to give good advice. Souls you are most compatible with: Warrior Soul, Hunter Soul and Visionary Soul

What Kind of Soul Are You?

the best dating advice ever...

...ahhh, good ole' tailgating. the usual...lots of walking, bits of food, and TONS of socializing. i had a great time! and of course, there were some memorable moments. this one i had to share.

"eat bbq, talk football and you can get any guy." yes...this is an actual quote. my friend, Tanner, and I and Marisa were chatting over a plate full of bbq...and of course, we were talking about our expectations for the game. a few sentences later, ones that included words like "special teams" and "field position" and i was getting one of the biggest dating tips of my life;o)

well...Tanner...i guess i know what your ideal first date would look like. hey...maybe i'll even try it someday. i'll take a guy to that really sketchy bbq place off of broad street...get it to go of course...bring him back to my apt...on a saturday or sunday and talk it up...i know all kinds of football words to use...maybe like: d-line, holding, rushing yards,touch-back, blitz and maybe i'll even throw in some talk about uga's chances of going to the sec championship...that should really make an impact. guess i'm set.

thanks for the advice...i'll let you know if it works;o)

struggles...

...wow, two blogs in one day...this must be a record for me. actually, its past midnight, so i guess its not technically the same day..darn.

tonight i had the opportunity to finally let out some of my struggles and lean on my brothers and sisters in Christ...my volnerability was welcomed with encouragement, understanding, relating, and some well-spoken advice.

i have struggled with trusting the Lord...and wondering if my desires line up with His...and much more on deeper levels. i thought this struggle would cease when i finally could wrap my arms around the Lord and declare that He satisfies me completely. this past year, He has led me to the point where i had the opportunity to declare that just a couple of weeks ago. i could truly exclaim "i am in love with you, Lord!!!!" i really could scream that from the ROOFTOPS right NOW! then...why am i still struggling?

then...tonight it hit me that this area of struggle is not just going to disappear in one day. although i have found the true answer and my true satisfaction, the lies that have been holding me hostage for so many years, have left scars..and they are still holding onto me..and little by little the Lord is helping me to cut these chains off of me!

so...i will not despair...i will HOPE..because i know that one day i will be completely free from this struggle and i will be free! Christ will always have the ultimate victory!!!!

a hurting heart...

...since the beginning of the week, God has been taking me on a journey through my heart, my emotions. on monday, the scriptures opened my eyes to the decietful nature of my heart. i had not realized that i had been believing that if my heart desired something and it seemed good, then it must be the best thing for me. but that is not always true. what IS always true is that God always wants and does what is best for me. that is truth.

i thought my journey had ended with this. but of course the Lord wanted me to dig deeper. since going to a concert on monday night, my heart has been both joyful and heavy. how can i feel both of these things at once...the heart is a complicated thing. i speak of heart as basically my soul (being defined as that which includes my thoughts and emotions...excluding the other two parts of me, my spirit and body). so...feeling both of these emotions proves the point that i can't trust what i am feeling...because i can't even really keep it straight.

so...even today i woke up feeling very weighted down. a lot of times in the past this has been because the Lord was giving me a burden to pray for someone or something. so...i asked Him what or who? but no clear answer has come. what in the world? i have been a bit confused.

then, as i was reading an email from a friend who is serving in Spain as a volunteer missionary, i broke down. i began crying and realized that my burden is the feeling of loss. i feel like i have lost a huge part of me...where my desires were released. the Lord has once again confirmed in my heart that He has given me a desire to do full-time ministry...i long to do it. i don't mind working in the traditional sense...but i just have this huge longing to do ministry as my vocation (not ministry in my vocation).

but as i have just learned...i cannot trust my emotions. so, i'm taking this to the Lord and to the scriptures and trusting that God will continue to be my guide and show me where He wants me, when He wants me. i wait on Your word, Lord...I'm ready when you want me...whoa...i just realized that's a big statement...hold me to it, Jesus, and give me the strength!!!